Relationships

There are a lot of things that suck in life, but you know what’s one of the worst, the most horrible thing in life? Long distance relationships. I don’t even know how to begin to describe what I’ve been feeling this past 2 weeks. It’s like my whole world is so incoherent. I’m trying to hold it together, God knows I’m trying so hard but everytime I think if him, I end up sobbing until there are no more tears left. I feel like I’m being a bit over dramatic but I can’t but feel this way, mostly because I feel like I’m already losing him, you know? You know the feeling like when you talk to him over the phone and you just know that even though he’s there, he isn’t really there? Maybe I need to be a little bit more patient, give him time to settle down. I don’t know, honestly, right now I’d give anything just to be able to smell his scent that got me so high.

I found this paragraph on tumblr, and i don’t have the strength of writing down how much I miss him, but I think this pretty much covers it.

Holy fucking shit i miss him so much right now, i miss every part of him, everything about him. I miss his smell, i miss playing with his hair, i miss his face, his brown eyes like i’ve never seen before, how they looked like a beautiful shade of honey brown in the sunlight, i miss his hands on my skin, i miss his skin, just being able to cuddle up to him and feel his warmth and how hard his heart beats when we lay together, and feeling his breath on my forehead, and his arms around me as i bury my face in his chest. I miss that fucking jaw dropping smile with the heart melting laugh that follows. I miss his voice that gives me butterflies and never fails to calm me down when I’m upset. I miss him picking on me, and us fake insulting each other and he’ll give me that breath taking fucking smirk. I miss his body language; just the way he is. I miss his beard, I miss running my fingers through his hair, I miss our openness with each other. I miss the way he never wants me to leave. I miss how comforting he is, how caring he is, how protective he is; how he makes me feels as if he’s my guardian angel. I could go on and on about the things i miss about him, but by the time i finish, we’ll already be together again and i won’t have to miss him anymore, and god i can’t wait till the day i never have to miss him again.

It’s been a while since I saw that smile on your face,
The one that used to reach your eyes
And light ’em up like the 4th of July fireworks.
It seems as though all the reasons why I was the one
Suddenly become the reasons why now, I wasn’t.
Even though you were my happiness
I failed to make myself, yours,
Though you were my world
I couldn’t be farther from yours.
When did the distance become so much?
When did you cringe at the sound of my voice?
When did it become a chore to call me?
I tried but I’m sorry baby, to have pushed you this far.
Some days it seems like you’re better off without me,
Without all the drama I come with,
But most days, I let myself be selfish
Because I know that if you leave,
So would all the warmth and safety leave,
And I’m not ready to live in a cold world without your fire to keep me warm.
– RiRi