Anger – A poison that kills your soul 

Anger is described as having A strong feeling of annoyancedispleasure, or hostility in the Oxford dictionary. Psychologically, anger is a normal human emotion, and each one of us goes through this emotion every once in a while; in fact at times it is even healthy to get angry, as this shows that you as a person have a limit, a set of boundaries and rules that you don’t expect others to cross. 

But what about the times when anger is unhealthy? 

Unhealthy anger is anger when the emotion of anger is so strong that I clouds your judgement, when the feeling of anger overpowers every other feeling there is within you. 

We’ve heard many instances in life when a person is angry at someone, and they stay angry with them until God forbid something bad happens to that person or when that person dies. It is only after the going away of that person that the person who feels angry, thinks about his actions but by then it’s too late, and then a new emotion takes over; Regret. Both Anger and regret are the worst emotions of a persons life, and slowly they take over one’s life if not controlled. 

When is anger a problem? 
According to the Australian Psychology Society, anger becomes a problem when the following happens:
  • You feel angry a lot of the time.
  • People close to you are worried about your anger.
  • Anger is leading to problems with personal relationships and work.
  • You think you have to get angry to get what you want.
  • Anger seems to get bigger than the event that set it off.
  • Anger lasts for a long time, and well after the triggering event has passed.
  • Anger affects other situations not related to the original event.
  • You are becoming anxious or depressed about your anger.
  • You are using alcohol or other drugs to try to manage your anger.
  • You are getting angry with the people who are closest to you, or with people who are less powerful than you, rather than dealing with the situation that sparked off your anger in the first place. 
All the signs mentioned above are signs that show that one has an anger problem. People have become used to using anger to get what they want, sometimes they use it so much to the extent that their anger becomes bigger than the situation itself, and sometimes the same anger can cloud the love they have for someone else. At times when your anger is out of control, I advice that one takes deep breathes and just concentrates on the reasons how the opposite person has made them happy, and then while revisiting the old memories, one can calm down their anger. 
Another piece of advice is that one should never use anger as a means to emotionally blackmail another person into doing what they want, instead one should use the approach of talking, discussing and compromising. Especially when one is in a relationship, it is crucial that one doesn’t force their rules or opinions on their significant other, instead let them be the person they are because that was the person you fell in love with. 
When one is angry, one often exaggerates the situation and comes to the conclusion that everything and everyone is horrible and that this is the end of the world. When ones mind starts thinking like this, one should quickly tell oneself ‘It’s frustrating, and it’s understandable that I’m upset about it, but it’s not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it’.

Another way is to learn assertive skills, these skills ensure that anger is channelled and expressed in clear and respectful ways. Being assertive means being clear with others about what your needs and wants are, feeling okay about asking for them, but respecting the other person’s needs and concerns as well and being prepared to negotiate. Avoid using words like ‘never’ or ‘always’ (for example, ‘You’re always late!’), as these statements are usually inaccurate, make you feel as though your anger is justified, and don’t leave much possibility for the problem to be solved.

And lastly, don’t let your anger last long, and don’t dwell on a problem once you’ve solved it, by doing this, you’re saving that anger inside of you, and giving it the chance to rest it’s ugly head the next time you get angry. Once a problem is solved, be happy, smile and let go of all that negative energy; breathe deep and smile. 

To a Martyr

They found her like that
Forehead on the ground
Hands by the side
Her back resembled
the remains of burnt coal

A bag lay by her side
The contents scattered around
By the force of the bomb
The Quran lay open
“And say not of those who are slain in the way of Allah: ‘They are dead.’ Nay, they are living…

When they turned her
For the final wash
Tears gushed from their eyes
Like water from a broken dam
The Noor was blinding
Brighter than the sun

This is what it looks likes
To die in the way of Allah

Choices

As humans we all consciously and unconsciously go through the task of making choices everyday and in fact every moment of our lives. Most of the choices we make are naturally inbuilt in us, and it is required for us to make that choice, i.e. drinking water or sleeping, and these choices help us to live our daily loves without disturbance or discomfort and by choosing not to take these choices we will be exerting a level of discomfort to our selves, therefore it is necessary to make these choices.

But sometimes, we come across situations in our lives that demand from us to make a conscious, weighted choice that has a huge impact on our present and possibly future lives. These are the choices that requires one to think through carefully and then make a decision. The thinking process doesn’t necessarily have to be a long one, instead it can be just a few seconds long where you weigh the pros and cons and go ahead with what seems the best option.

These choices, the ones that require you to think are the ones that will shape and change you as a person. These are the choices that will determine what conflicts and what challenges you will face in your life, and these are the choices that will reflect on you when you meet new people.

There may come times when you feel like you don’t really have a choice and there seems to be only one path ahead. During these times, remember that you ALWAYS have a choice. Adam had the choice to eat the fruit or refuse, Cain had the choice to not get jealous and avoid killing his brother, Steve Jobs had the choice to enroll and spend four years at university or drop out and do something he liked. All these people made choices, even though they might’ve felt like they didn’t have a choice, they always did. Choices don’t necessarily have to be either this or that, instead you have the choices of ‘option A’ or ‘the choice of coming up with another choice’. Even choosing to come up with another choice is a choice itself.

Now what happens after you make the choice? Maybe the decision you made turned out to be wrong or bad for you. Do you sit and whine and complain? Do you beat-up yourself over it or do you keep your head high, learn from experience and move on? Doesn’t the second one sound way better and way more productive?

There is literally no point on dwelling over bad decisions unless it is to learn a lesson from it. After which you extract the lesson and put that choice in a treasure box and lock it, because even though you have put it away, it is still going to affect the rest of your choices as well, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of your choices will also be wrong or bad for you. The bad choice happened because it was better for you to experience and learn from it now rather than making the same bad decision much later in your life when it can’t be fixed.

Finally, at the end of the day, just remember that all the choices are already written down for it is also written what choices you will make, so just believe that God has a better plan for you even if the choice you made wasn’t the best. He is just testing to see whether you’re strong enough, whether you have enough faith and whether you rely and trust Him or not. So after making the choice, if it turns out to be a wrong decision, thank God because He opened your eyes before it was too late and if it was a good decision, still thank Him. In the end just remember that only He has the power to give you the power to make the choices you make.

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Source: Google images

“It is the duty and obligation of Muslims to establish the truths and proofs of Islam and then allow others the freedom of choice to accept or reject the proofs”

-Yusuf Estes

Similar posts:

http://thoughtprocess101.wordpress.com/2014/02/02/you-can-be-better-than-you-are-right-now/

http://julienmatei.com/2014/01/30/asking-rox-is-there-a-free-will-after-all/

Achievement – Google search

So I decided to just type ‘Analysis of nothing gold can stay’ in Google search, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised! My post is the first on Google! Isn’t that awesome?!

Haha, okay, yes I do get a bit hyper on small things, but to me it’s still a big deal, and besides it is advised to find happiness in the small things, so I have to say I’m very happy :) And I have to say that this wouldn’t have been possible without all you amazing bloggers out there! You have motivated me and helped me so much in this journey, so I’d just like to thank all of you and all the people who searched for the analysis of the poem and found mine to be helpful! Thank you so much!

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