I know my 14 day long absence is one of the signs of being a really bad blogger, but honestly, I just couldn’t get myself to type anything. Also, since it was the last ten days of Ramadan and then Eid, I didn’t have a second to spare. Now you might think that I may have a lot to tell you, but honestly I don’t. I really have nothing going on in my life that is good enough to write about. Although there is something I could write about, but then I’d sound like a whiner, because all I can think of in the past few days is how suffocating and constricting Kuwait is.
I feel trapped. Like someone is suffocating me, closing access to my windpipe. I can literally feel it. I don’t know whats wrong with this place. Literally. I wanna go someplace natural. Someplace where I can see the bright clear, blue sky and taste the sweetness of the river water. Someplace where no one would find me to teach yet again how to act in front of someone, or what to say to someone or what to wear, or what to feel. I swear; people even tell me how to feel! Its frustrating, everyday, plastering the most fakey-genuine smile you’ve got when I want to really do is cry. Yes! I want to cry! I want to cry because its my will! I want to cry because that’s how I feel at the moment, I don’t feel happy. I don’t feel all flowers and rainbows! Don’t they get it????
I think I feel a little better now, writing it out. It was a mistake to stay away from blogging. I think its kinda my therapy. Ha, and I thought breaks left you feeling refreshed, but this one just made me wanna crawl into a hole and die. Ok, maybe not that bad, but you can understand the intensity of how screwed up I feel.
Laters Bloggers x